Xemnas for President!
by Miss Mudkip
Summary: With the Organzation taking over the world there isn't much time for pool parties or stroking small Roxas dolls. But in this funny, interesting fan fiction of the Kingdom Heart's Organzation XIII, somehow that is possible. [sort of AU...ish]
1. Chapter 1

urrgh. I'm new to Fanfiction [if you couldn't tell This is my first story...so, I'm so very confused as to how to upload stories and such. xDD;;...

Right. Well, I rated it M for mature, because I'm scared to death I'll screw up and accidentally rate it T or something, but the song Demyx sings towards the end might be mature content...? Also, I dunno if the fact that they're running for a political position might make the story unsuitble for younger audiences. ... D:

oh, uh...I've seen this in other stories. Sometimes people put little Disclaimers like "I didn't invent Kingdom Hearts" or something like that, so I suppose I'll give that a try, so I don't take credit for inventing the game [because I didn't.

I didn't invent Kingdom Hearts, or the characters. I'm only writing a fanfiction.

oh! And The song Demyx sings at the end isn't invented by me either; It's a song by Nirvana, called "Rape me".

* * *

"And that, my friends, is why I am the most qualified candidate to be elected as your ruler." Xemnas said, in his usual, slowly annunciated way of speaking. 

Xigbar sharply kicked him, and Xemnas added, "Your fairly elected leader."

The crowd didn't seem to notice, for they all leapt out of their seats, and cheered madly, screaming Xemnas' name. Xemnas raised his hand as a way of saying thanks, as he walked away from the microphone, and off the stage.

* * *

"He did it again."

"What again?"

"Slipped."

"And said what?" The red head asked the cloaked schemer.

"You're supposed to be dead, stop talking."

Zexion turned away from Axel, and continued his conversation with a more tolerable member.

Axel scowled, and turned to another member in the group as well. He eyed Flower-Boy, and a malevolent grin spread across his face.

"Hello, _Marley_," he said, while sitting down next to him, so that his thigh was right up against Marluxia's. He placed his nearest hand on Marluxia's thigh as well, just to tick him off.

Marluxia began to blush, deeply.

"Awww, what's wrong, Marley-baby?"

"A-Ax…uh, Axel. P-please stop."

"But why, Marley?" Axel stroked Marluxia's thigh ever so slightly. Marluxia blushed even more.

"Knock it off," Lexaeus growled from the other side of the limousine. "Stop picking on Flower-Boy."

Axel slid off the seat, and crawled across the floor over to an empty seat. "I'm just so _lonely_!" he whined from the floor placing his hands on the seat, sort of hugging it, "After…Roxy left us." He laid his head down on the seat.

"Sit down and shut up, back there, would you?" Luxord called from the driver's seat.

Silence fell upon the limo for a brief moment. That is, until, Axel decided to take out the PlayStation 2 out of a nearby compartment, and press a button to make a TV slide down from the ceiling. Before anybody knew it, Axel was lip locking the main character of Bully with every possible male that walked by in the game.

"I'm Jimmy, and Trent represents Roxy." A few minutes later, he declared, "I'm still Jimmy, and Kirby represents Roxy." After his third comparison to Roxas, the others stopped listening to Axel. That is, until, he began giggling madly. Axel glanced around, and after realizing he had everybody's attention, he said, "I'm Jimmy, and Mandy the cheerleader is Roxas." While suffering from a giggle fit, Zexion reached over, and unplugged the PS2.

"Awww, that was really mean, Zexion!" the redhead angrily whined.

"Stop talking. You're a disgrace."

Axel frowned, and took his Roxas doll out of his pocket and hugged it.

"You're pathetic," the emo one said, shaking his head.

* * *

Xemnas glared at Xigbar, after shutting the closet door behind him.

"Why," he said, speaking slowly, and over-pronouncing every word as he usually did, "Did you strike me back during my speech?"

"Because, sir," Xigbar hastily added, "These people won't choose you to lead them if you keep calling yourself 'their ruler'. You have to play by their rules, sir."

"I see." And with that, Xemnas opened the closet door, and strolled out of the building, and towards the limo, waiting for him outside.

A confused Xigbar, unsure if Xemnas really did understand what he was trying to say, decided against asking questions, and followed Xemnas obediently.

* * *

"QUICK, XALDIN, GET OUT OF THE LIMO!" Luxord bellowed into the back of the limo. "HE'S COMING, AND HE'LL BE PISSED IF YOU'RE NOT WAITING OUTSIDE!"

Xaldin sighed, put on his sunglasses, and stepped outside of the limo, where he waited by the door. Just as he stood still, Xemnas turned round the corner, with Xigbar following behind. "Good morning, sir," Xaldin greeted Xemnas. Xemnas simply nodded as Xaldin opened the door, allowing the air-conditioned breeze from inside the limo to escape out into the hot summer atmosphere.

After everybody was in the car, and had congratulated Xemnas on another perfect speech [They were always perfectly delivered, Demyx decided to break the silence by playing a song on his sitar. He glanced around, to receive looks of encouragement from the other passengers, but the only look he received was from Zexion that said, _"If you play a single note on that damned thing, I swear to God I'll kill you"_ Demyx just smiled in return, and brushed his fingers across his sitar, creating an actually enjoyable melody to listen to. That is, until he began to sing.

"_Rape me._

_Rape me, my friend._

_Rape me._

_Rape me, again."_

He glanced up smiling, only to see that everyone in the car was sending him the death stare. He made a wise decision, and stopped playing his sitar.

* * *

...urrr. Should I even keep going with this story...?

Thanks for reading though. 33


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**_ Sorry about my last chapter... D: err. I noticed that since I use those lines to break up different parts of my story, as well as my author notes, it was confusing, and sort of jumbled up. Sorry about that. Also- I tend to use brackets instead of parenthesis, and the closing bracket wasn't showing up, which I'm sure made reading my first chapter really annoying. D:  
__  
And I forgot another disclaimer thingy. I didn't invent Bully (which is also known as Canis Canem Edit)_

_Oh! In the last chapter, I had Axel stroking Marley's thigh…and Marley was blushing. Just to clear things up, this isn't an AxelxMarluxia thing, it was just Axel teasing (and teasing as in making fun of) Marluxia, and Marley was blushing because he was embarrassed._

_If there's anything else I can think to add, I'll add an author's note at the end of this chapter, or at the beginning of the next. :) Anyways, here's the fanfic!_

* * *

Nobody dared say a word after Demyx ruined the somewhat peaceful, silent atmosphere. 

Axel, who seemed too quiet for his own good, was sitting in the corner of the limousine, knees pulled up to his chest, vigorously petting his Roxas doll.

"Axel…" began a very worried Demyx, "What're you thinking about…?"

A clever grin painted itself across Axel's face, as he responded. "Oh, just about Xemnas' successful speech. You know…this _is_ his seventh speech he's done so well with…seven out of seven speeches _perfectly_ executed. If you ask me, I think it's time to celebrate such an achievement."

It seemed that just slightly, Xemnas began to blush with embarrassment with all the attention being drawn to him. But it was probably just the light hitting him at a funny angle.

Xigbar, meanwhile, was waving his arms around like a maniac, trying to convey the message that Axel should stop talking, unless he wants Xemnas to attack everyone in the limo in a fit of fury.

However, Xemnas spoke in his always-calm voice, "Axel…I think that is a wonderful idea." He paused, and glanced around the limo. "Don't you all agree?"

Everyone in the limo nodded their heads furiously; even Luxord, who twisted his head through the small window leading to the driver's department, for fear of getting their heads blown off, if they didn't agree.

"Then it is agreed," Xemnas decided, "We shall celebrate my seventh successful speech."

The cunning redhead opened his mouth again to propose another idea, and this time, both Xigbar _and_ Xaldin were waving their arms around like madmen, trying to get Axel to stop talking.

Axel, however, proceeded to voice his opinion anyway. "Sir, if I may, I would suggest that we celebrate this achievement by going to the pool."

At this point, Xemnas moved his eyebrows and arranged them in such a way to convey suspicion and slight confusion. No, not confusion. Xemnas was always right, and never confused. It was probably just the poor lighting in the limo again. "The pool?"

"Yes, sir, the pool. It would be great publicity, you know." Xemnas' eyes lit up, as Axel continued. "If I may suggest a pool to attend…I would say the one downtown…Paopu Water Park."

"Yes, yes! A splendid idea!" Xemnas announced, not sounding all that excited at all (probably due to the fact that everything he says sounds sad, and he speaks obnoxiously slow).

As Xemnas turned around, the green-eyed pyromaniac had a look of triumph on his face, but as the others caught sight of Axel, and looks of "oh, shit" seeped across their faces; Axel buried his face in his hands to hide his joy.

* * *

The door violently flung open, and an angry Xaldin stormed in. Seven pairs of eyes watched as he stood in the doorway fuming. "What now, Zexion? What is it now, that is _so_ important, that I had to stop working to come here?" 

Marluxia sat up a little straighter and said, "Well, you're technically not getting paid, so listening to Xemnas ramble about nothing really doesn't count as a job."

"Shut up, Flower Boy," Xaldin snarled in return.

"Sit down," Zexion calmly said to Xaldin, ignoring the start of a fight.

Xaldin sat down and grumbled, "Make it quick; I told Xemnas I'm in the washroom."

Snickers erupted from the musician's direction, but quickly stopped when Xaldin pierced him with his angry stare.

Demyx waited for somebody to break the silence, and the confidence-lowering glare he was receiving, and decided to speak up himself. "How about we take attendance, to make sure everyone important is here!"

Zexion thought it over, then calmly agreed, "You know, I think that's not such a bad idea. I never thought a good idea would come out of you, Demyx."

Demyx ignored the insulting part, and just beamed at his compliment.

"Well, Xemnas shouldn't be here, because he's ranting pointlessly about himself," Zexion said, "And Xigbar is enduring his rambling. Axel's not here, because he's the shit-for-brains that got us in this mess, Roxas died, and I don't like Larxene so I just didn't invite her." He clapped his hands together, and added, "Well, that's everybody, then isn't it?"

Everybody (except for Demyx, who was always happy) looked towards Zexion, wishing they hadn't come either.

"Why do we always meet in your room, Zexion?" Lexaeus growled. "Everything in here is too small, it's too cramped." The bed was sagging under Lexaeus' weight.

"I really have better things to do," Saix added.

"I don't mind it!" Demyx cheerfully sang.

Zexion ignored everyone, and continued to speak. "As you all know, Axel just screwed us all over. And Xemnas fell for it. We're all going to the pool tomorrow."

Luxord interrupted, "I could play Xemnas in a game of poker, and bet the pool party as a prize; you know I'll always win!"

"No." The irritated emo kid spat out. "This meeting is a meeting to formulate a number of excuses we can all use to worm our way out of going to the pool."

A squeal escaped from Demyx's mouth, and all attention was then turned to him. "B-but…I wanted to go to the pool!" He was on the verge of tears, when suddenly, the door flung open again.

Axel stood at the doorway. "So this is where everybody is…Xemnas is looking for all you guys." The room was silent. "He wants to discuss the pool party tomorrow." One of those grins spread itself over Axel's face.

"Axel!" Demyx squealed in delight as he bounced up to Axel, and hugged him.

Axel smiled a forced, uncomfortable smile, as he tried to peel Demyx's arms off of him. "Get off me…_Down_ Demyx!"

"Forget this!" Xaldin yelled, knocking over a chair as he stormed out of the room. And slowly, one by one, the other members left as well. Soon, only Zexion, Axel and Demyx were the only ones in the room.

"Get out of my room."

"Get _off_ me, Demyx!"

"Axeeeeeeelllllllll!"

"Do I have to use force to get you lovebirds out of here?"

"N-no! We're not lovebirds…get _off _of me!"

"You love me too, Axel? Really, you really do?"

By this point, Axel had created a portal, and quickly ran through it, and closed it up before Demyx could follow.

"Did you hear? Did you hear that, Zexion? Axel likes me! He really does!"

But the emo one had left his room, and Demyx was left standing all alone in the room. He shrugged his shoulders, took out his Sitar, and started making music.

* * *

"RUUUUN! RUN FOR YOU LIIIIIIVES!" Luxord was screaming as he sprinted through the hallway chucking oversized dice at everyone's bedroom door, purposely skipping Larxene's door altogether. Eventually, one by one, the doors flew open, rage evident in everyone's eyes but Demyx's, who was happy someone had knocked on his door. They all crooked their heads around their doorframes, glancing at each other, exchanging confused looks… until they had realized Luxord had a reason for bothering them. And a very good reason at that. 

Xemnas was slowly walking around the corner, seemingly calling out, however his voice remained at its usual volume, "Organization, I need to meet with you all, please come out of your rooms…"

At once, all of their doors snapped shut, except for Demyx who didn't know what was going on. Shrugging his shoulders, he eventually shut his door so he could be like everyone else.

Meanwhile, over in Zexion's room, his traditional Organization robes had been removed, and he was wandering around his room in his boxers, with cute little hello-kitty skulls on them, singing along to his Rihanna CD, looking for comfortable clothes to lounge around in. He bent down to pull out the bottom drawer out of his white dresser, (which matched with everything else in the room; it was all white) giving his unoccupied bed a nice view of his ass. As he bent down, he could've sworn he heard snickering, and whirled around, standing up straight, only to find his room behind him empty, unoccupied, and silent. Unoccupied, of course, except for him. So he bent down again, to pull out his favorite pair of jeans, but this time, he heard a quiet sigh.

But it wasn't any sigh. It sounded…_pleased!?_

He whirled around again, and examined his room, and finding nobody, he bent back over, angry with his mind for playing tricks on him. This time, however, he knew he wasn't alone. As soon as he had his hands in the dresser drawer, He _knew_ he felt a hand trace down his spine. With that, he whirled around, to see a tiny shadow flick out of sight in front of him. It was obviously a portal; _somebody_ in the house was screwing with him. His voice shaking, partly due to embarrassment and rage, he nervously called out, "Who in the _hell_ is there?"

No response.

"I-I mean it!" Trying to sound serious and intimidating, which were two things he most definitely was **not** feeling at the moment. He sighed, and turned back around, resolving that by grabbing his jeans out of the drawer quickly, his problem would pass. But oh, how he thought wrong.

He pulled out his beloved jeans, admiring their seemingly careless rips, when two arms slipped around his stomach.

"Awww, is wittle Sexy Zexy scared of older men?"

If the voice didn't give it away, the untamable lock of red hair that threatened to stab Zexion's eye out did.

"Axel…" Zexion started through gritted teeth, fury boiling inside him, "Let. Me. Go. ... _Now_."

Axel let out a hearty laugh, and playfully poked Zexion's stomach before releasing him. Axel had already disappeared through a portal before Zexion could pounce on him and strangle him.

But, before more violent thoughts could concoct themselves in Zexion's mind, seven portals appeared in various places in his room, allowing the entire organization (Except Xemnas, Axel, Larxene and Roxas) to step through, and into his room.

His room, where he was standing practically naked.

* * *

**Author's Note: **_ahaha. You know, after I ran this through my spell checker, it was overwhelmingly confused over the Organization's names. When I said 'Demyx's' at one point in the story, my program tried to correct me by saying 'Dummy's' …:( …Demyx isn't a dummy! D:_

_Anyways. Well, at one point (Actually, most of the chapter) I had writer's block like no other, but kept writing because I keep setting imaginary deadlines for myself, and my friends that I ran the story by told me to keep it, so I did. Tralala...I hope it's not **too** unbearable. D:_

_ooooh. I want to be like the cool kids that demand reviews out of people. So...like...review my fanfic, please:)_


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** _Okay, I've discovered I don't like Author Notes at the beginning of chapters, because they're unnecessary. From now on, I'll just put them towards the end :D Except for this chapter. xD! oh. Um, in this chapter, I introduce a new character that swears mercilessly. (I'm glad I panicked and marked this fic M for Mature :D ) But anyways. If you're not comfortable reading swears. Uh. Yeah. Now you know :)_

* * *

For a split second, Zexion was thankful Larxene wasn't there, but after seeing the look on Marluxia's face, he wished it was her instead.

Luxord sharply elbowed Marley's gut, while proceeding to carelessly address Zexion's condition. "My my my, Zexion, thought you'd put on a bit of a show here, eh? Well, if I dare say… it seems as though our dear Marluxia over here is enjoying it quite a bit."

Marluxia, meanwhile, blushed an even deeper shade of burgundy.

Zexion, unknowing as to why everybody reappeared in his room, stormed off to his closet to put on his usual black cloak.

He returned to his bedroom moments later to find that Axel and Larxene had joined the group.

Luxord was playing Axel in a game of poker, where Axel had bet four different pictures of Zexion in his boxers. As predicted, Axel was losing horribly, and Luxord was moments away from becoming the proud new owner of pictures Zexion considered highly embarrassing.

Larxene, however, wasn't enjoying herself one bit. She was gagged, blindfolded, and tied up, sitting in a chair, in the corner of the room.

Before he could be angry with Axel for taking pictures of him, he snapped at Demyx, who he usually took his anger out on, "Who let _her_ in here?" Nobody really liked Larxene, so they all pretended she didn't exist, and invited her to nothing. She probably didn't even know Xemnas was running for president.

The handkerchief fell out of her mouth, and Larxene shrieked a steady flow of incoherent swears. Demyx cheerfully scooped up the cloth, and stuffed it back in Larxene's mouth, whose annoying shrieks became muffled hums. Demyx cheerfully smiled at Zexion and chimed, "I did, Zexy! I thought I'd be a nice person and warn everybody, in case somebody didn't hear Xemnas. Just like Axel suggested I do!" Demyx then went back to poking Larxene.

At hearing this, Zexion summoned a book from nowhere, and chucked it at Axel's head, who deflected it effortlessly. "Remember, Sexy Zexy," Axel teased, "I've got twenty more pictures like this…you wouldn't want me to accidentally give one to Xemnas, now would you?"

Zexion, having no idea where Axel was going with this rant of his, surrendered by muttering, "Whatever."

_Squeak._

His attention was immediately directed over to Lexaeus, who was sitting on Zexion's bed, which was sagging pathetically.

"Lexaeus," Zexion began to beg, "Why don't you sit on the floor or something?"

"Why don't you get a better bed that can actually support people's weight?" was his growled response.

Before anybody else could say anything, Zexion's door gently opened, and Xemnas' head peeked through. "Ah, I should've expected as much from you all."

Each member opened their mouth (except Larxene), ready to begin to defend themselves, when Xemnas continued, "I really don't thank you all enough. You all knew I was looking to call a group meeting, and so thoughtfully gathered yourselves. I don't deserve a group as fine as yourselves."

Xigbar choked back a laugh, which was a smart choice, because laughing in a situation like this is a one-way ticket to hell.

"I'll make my announcement quick, since I want you all to enjoy the rest of your day. I just wanted to-what is this?" Xemnas stopped, when his eyes fell upon Larxene.

"Sir," Lexaeus began, but was cut off.

"Didn't I _specifically_ say to leave her behind?"

"Yes, you did sir, and I don't know how she returned," Lexaeus grunted from the bed that had set a new record in inches sagged toward the ground.

Axel recalled the beautiful day he returned to not existing.

_After the entire Organization being brutally murdered at the hands of Sora (Except Axel) The Door To Nothing was suddenly opened, and they were free! Kairi, not being the sharpest tool in the shed, had come across the DTN, and opened it, because, according to her it "looked pretty". So, after letting countless enemies that would no doubt cause Sora to travel from world to world, __**again**__ to save the day, the entire Organization came back to the world. That is, everybody but Larxene._

_When Larxene stepped out, Xemnas tossed a penny to the ground, and everybody watched with greedy eyes as it rolled around and around. _

"_Heads!" called Luxord._

"_Tails!" Larxene stupidly called._

_The coin eventually rolled back through the doorway, into The Door to Nothing, where Larxene followed. "Dammit!" She called, "It was heads!" _

_And then Xemnas slammed the door in her face._

_He then turned around, and explained himself. "I never really cared for Larxene much; I just let her in so we wouldn't look like a sexist group." He paused, and then continued, "However, I want none of you opening that door ever again. I don't want to deal with her in the future."_

_And everybody did as they were told._

"Well," Xemnas spoke again, "Who let her in?"

"Sir," Xigbar began, "Why don't we ask her herself?"

Xemnas solemnly nodded his head, and Lexaeus roughly removed the handkerchief from her mouth.

"Who let you out?" Xemnas asked.

"Kairi." Larxene snarled.

"Then go live with her, go burden that foolish girl." Xemnas spoke calmly, but fury was evident in his voice.

"Fine!" Larxene shrieked.

Xemnas waved his arm out, and made a portal. "Don't untie her, just push her in."

So, Lexaeus kicked the back of the chair Larxene was sitting in into the portal, and the portal disappeared, along with her.

Xemnas sighed then said, "Never mind, I forgot what I was about to say. Good day to you all." And with that, he turned and left.

Approximately 5 seconds of silence followed his exit. It was broken by Zexion. "Get out of my room. All of you."

One by one, the different members made portals and disappeared through them. Demyx quickly ran up to Zexion and hugged him, while thanking him for letting everybody meet in his room before leaving. Which only left Axel, standing across from Zexion, who smirked while he walked past Zexion, towards the door.

Or, more accurately, behind Zexion.

Moments later Zexion felt a hand grab at his ass, and froze on the spot, and heard Axel's howling laughter echo around him. "Silly Sexy Zexy's all flustered!" Arms coiled themselves around Zexion's waist, pulling him back into Axel. Still paralyzed with shock, Axel's next words didn't help.

"You know," He whispered into Zexion's ear, "you look real cute when you're all flustered" His hot breath tickled Zexion's neck, who shuddered a little. Before he realized what was happening, and before he could prevent it, Axel craned his neck around Zexion's head, and tenderly pecked Zexion's cheek.

And then finally, in a fit of uncontrollable laughter Axel disappeared, leaving Zexion feeling violated and confused, standing alone, in his room.

Luxord didn't feel like driving the limo, or having to bother with parking at the pool, so he bet Xemnas in a game of poker and predictably won; Organization XIII was taking taxicabs to the pool.

Xemnas, Xaldin and Xigbar piled into the backseat of the first cab, and sped off to the pool. The next cab contained Luxord, and a very cramped Lexaeus, followed by cab number three which contained Luxord Vexen and Marluxia, and finally, in the last cab, Axel, Demyx and Zexion.

Every couple of seconds, Demyx kept asking across Axel who was sitting in the middle to ask, Zexion, "Are we there yet?"

Who always replied with "No" and then eventually stopped replying at all.

"Are we there yet? Hey, Zexion, are we there yet? Zexion are we there? Are we there yet, Zexion? Zexion? Hey! Zexion? Are we there? Can you please tell me if we're there? Demyx asketh unto Zexion: Doth thou knoweth, if thy motor-drawn carriage hath arrive-eth at thy destionation?"

"You wanna know if we're there yet?" the driver growled, hunched over the steering wheel, "I'll let ya fuckin' know when we're fuckin' there. I'll stop the fuckin' car, and you'll see the fuckin' pool! And if you ask one more fuckin' time, 'if we're there yet' I'll pull the fuckin' car over, and kick you all the fuck out, and you'll have to walk your sorry fuckin' asses to the pool"

"Cid? Is that you?" Axel asked, as if the driver's behavior was completely normal. He leaned his head forward to get a better look at the driver, and continued, "Hey, man, it's me, Axel! How ya doin'?"

"Axel?" the man growled, surprised, "Never felt shittier. You, scumbag?"

"More or less, you know. What ever happened to your computer repair job, huh?"

"It drove me up a fuckin' wall!" the driver roared. "Half my fuckin' customers would beat the shit out of their computers, and expect me to work a fuckin' miracle to save their sorry lumps of shit they called computers." Glancing towards the backseat, he added, "What the hell you doin' travelin' around with a buncha shitheads like this?

"Cid-man," Axel laughed, "I'm with the Organization, remember? The blonde kid is Demyx, and the quiet one's Zexion. You remember them, right?"

"No. And quite frankly, I'm glad I forgot who the two kids are," he grumbled.

But before Axel could ask any more questions, Cid growled his next response as they rolled up to the pool. "Now git the fuck outta my car!"

And silently, they all climbed out of the car. Axel waved goodbye; Cid stuck his middle finger out through the window and held it high over the roof of the cab, leaving a thin trail of smoke through the open window from the cigarette in his mouth behind.

"Demyx!" Axel barked across the picnic table.

"Yes?" Demyx leapt out of his seat and sped over to Axel, and knelt by his side.

"D'ya see that young, blonde girl over there, sitting by the side of the pool?"

"Yeeeeess," Demyx sang back.

"Watch this," Axel smirked, standing up, moving toward the girl. When he got there, he sat down next to her, and began to talk with her. Demyx watched somewhat jealous, with a worried expression, as Axel continued to speak with the girl. He looked away, because he couldn't bear to watch Axel pay more attention to a stranger than he had ever paid attention to Demyx in a year. However, his head jerked around when he heard a shriek erupt from the girl, just in time to watch Axel get slapped in the face, and then the girl storming away, blonde hair dancing behind her.

Axel miserably made his way back to Demyx, with his head hung, a feeble attempt to hide the handprint becoming more obvious across his cheek.

Demyx's heart leapt with delight, as he found a chance to hug Axel, without being rejected.

"There, there, Axel. Next time," Demyx hummed in Axel's ear, pulling him into a reassuring hug.

"You're right…next time…"

Just then, a stunning redhead strode past the hugging couple. Whether it was her goddess-worthy face, sculpted of perfection, or her hair, soft, glowing, rippling in the slight breeze, or her curvaceous body, barely hidden in her skimpy bikini, Axel felt the sudden need to hit on the unsuspecting girl.

Abruptly pulling out of the consoling hug, Axel trotted after his next victim.

"Hey!" he called.

"Oh?" She gracefully turned her head, in Axel's direction, and acknowledged his presence by giggling.

"And from far away your smile was breathtaking; up close, it's too beautiful for words."

She merely giggled as her response.

"Hmm, not to talkative?" Axel said, taking a small step towards the girl.

She giggled nervously, and showed him what looked to be a star-shaped key chain.

Not knowing what to say, Axel murmured the first thing that came to mind. "That's a paopu, isn't it? It's pretty." According to the girls standing around him, his reaction was the correct one, because apparently, Axel was giving off a rather sexy vibe, causing girls walking nearby to swoon, and some of them even to fall into the pool nearby.

She then dropped the star-shaped key chain, and before Axel could offer to pick it up, she was already bending over, meanwhile putting on an unnecessary display, showcasing her curvaceous body to Axel and those watching. As she bent down, she spoke her first sentence. "Sora you lazy bum!" she lifted her head slightly, and brought it level to about Axel's waist, seemingly speaking to it. "I knew that I'd find you snoozing down here. Are you still dreaming?" She stood up and winked at Axel.

Axel's mind, immediately in the gutter stepped closer to her, and gazed into her eyes asking her the question he knew she understood, for moments later, she verbally announced her answer.

"Yeah, sure."

Axel's mouth spread itself into one of those mischievous grins, as he whispered his next question: "Know anywhere we can get some privacy?"

He wasn't expecting her answer. "I've told you before, I don't remember."

"Sorry?" He must've heard her wrong.

"Nothing."

He shook it off. Just a misunderstanding, that's all. He tried again. "So, baby…where can we go?"

He most certainly wasn't expecting **this** answer.

"Well, I'm happy here."

Axel laughed nervously. He knew he was reckless, but he wasn't **this** reckless. He thought he'd suggest a location instead of asking her for one. "Why don't we try over there?" he asked, gesturing towards the main building. "I think I saw some supply closets over there or something…"

"But you know… I wouldn't mind going to see it."

Axel grinned. No misunderstandings this time. Her answer was a bit off, but an answer it was. He thought he'd be polite, and give her a choice as to which closet to use, and began to ask, "Would you rather go the supplies closet, or the-" but he was cut off by her.

"So what're we waiting for?"

"Alright, alright. Let's go." Axel grabbed her hand, and tugged it along behind him, as he turned and walked towards the closet. However, her hand slipped out of his, and she was standing in the same place, as if rooted to the spot. "I thought you wanted to get out of here quickly!" his brows furrowed in confusion, and quickly transformed themselves into the quite familiar, impish expression. "You know, I can't do this by myself" he smirked.

After the short-lived fit of giggles died down, the redheaded girl responded. "So you noticed. Okay, we'll finish it together. I'll race you! Ready? Go!" And the last word was hardly even out of her mouth by the time she took off, and began sprinting in circles around the rectangular pool they were standing next to, emitting obnoxious laughter that sounded eerily masculine.

By her 19TH lap around the pool, Axel grabbed her arm and stopped her, mid-stride. "Hey, you alright?" He was honestly worried about this girl. Something wasn't right.

She just looked at him, entirely confused, and slowly responded, "Soooora you lazy bum?"

"No, I'm asking if you're okay" he repeated.

"Let's take the raft and go, just the two of us!"

"Excuse me?" now Axel was thoroughly confused.

She was shaking violently under his grip, her face contorted in pain.

"Uuuum…we should get you to an ambulance or something…" Axel suggested, panic clouding his mind.

"SORA YOU LAZY BUM!" she shrieked in protest.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand," he breathed.

"SOOOOOOORA YOU LAZY BUM!" This time, it took her twice as long to say it, and her voice was deeper than usual.

"SORA YOU LAZY BUM! SORA YOU LAZY BUM! SORA YOU LAZY BUM!" and now her voice was high-pitched, resembling a comical hamster's voice, speaking at twice the rate of her normal voice.

Axel released his grip on the girl, and slowly backed away.

"Sora," she began to stoop down, "you lazy bum!" she stood back up again.

"Sora," she stooped down again, but didn't continue her sentence. Instead, she repeated herself like a broken record, beginning to bend down as she started saying the name, then snapping back up after she finished the name. Her voice varied from the normal version, to the deep, slow version, to the hamster version.

Suddenly, Cid ran in from the pool entrance bellowing, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL DOING STANDING AROUND THIS RUDDY THING!? ARE YOU ALL MAD!? CAN'T YOU SEE SHE'S ABOUT TO FUCKING EXPLODE?"

_Boom._

The girl's head soared up into the sky, leaving a trail of smoke behind it, landing about 2 feet away from her body, which fell stiffly to the ground.

Axel, along with the rest of the people at the pool stood speechless, and unmoving. Something was wrong though. Something was missing. The girl's body wasn't bleeding…

But his thoughts were interrupted by another person, who came rushing out through the main building, taking small, delicate steps, and holding her long pink dress up in front of her as she made her way towards what remained of the girl. Aerith, the owner of the pool, heaved a sigh as she looked down at the mess. "I'm terribly sorry," she announced sincerely, looking up at the crowd of gathered people, "that you had to witness this. But do not be alarmed; for this was not a real person, this was simply Kairi, the dysfunctional robot. That is all." She waved her hand carelessly in front of her, and turned, and strode back through the doors she had suddenly just burst through.

Seconds of silence and shock turned into minutes, and before the minutes could drag themselves into hours, the crowd of people finally thinned, and resumed their usual swimming activities. Cid swooped down over the remains of the girl, and began to examine them. . "Fuckin' morons," he grumbled, "Didn't bother checkin' her fuckin' batteries. There was a fuckin' acid leak."

"Excuse me?" Axel was still standing where he had been minutes ago.

"The batteries. You know. Like the kind you use in flashlights. Bad. Acid leaked out of them. Burnt through her. She malfunctioned."

"But…she was so lifelike," Axel murmured, recalling the steps she took past him and Demyx with such grace.

"No fuckin' duh she was. I fuckin' designed her. For the brown-haired shit-for-brains, that calls himself Sora," he grumbled. "Although if _I_ were to name a shithead like him, I'd name him 'Worthless Bag o' Shit' or something useful…" he added.

"Sora?" He stooped down, more intent on listening to every word Cid said from here on out.

"Yeah, he's a lifeguard at the pool. I think I saw the motherfucker on break, in the staff room. He's probably being felt-up by the silver-haired lifeguard that has the hots for him. Remind me to enlighten Sora sometime with a piece o' my fuckin' mind…" Cid shook an angry fist at no one in particular, as he continued to tinker with the robot girl.

"Cid," Axel suddenly asked, wondering why Cid was here, "I thought you were a taxi driver…? Why're you here?"

"Quit. Some fuckin' lunatic got in the car, dressed like a duck, feathers stickin' outta his ass and everything. Talked like a fucktard. Couldn't understand half the shit spewing from his mouth. Said something like he wanted me to take him to 'The King'. Like hell I did! I got the hell out of that car, walked my ass back over here, 'cause I figured something would've gone wrong with this," he gestured towards the heap of robot beneath him, "sooner or later."

"Oh, right," Axel muttered, not really listening, "I gotta go. Catch ya later!" Axel stood up, and strode away, in the direction of the staff room.

"Yeah, fuck you too," Cid growled after him.

* * *

**Author's Note:** _Okay, about The Door To Nothing (DTN)… this is a joke between my friend and I, when she asked me for help with writing her fanfic. (uum...if it's mentioned in Kingdom Hearts...then in that case the rights to the DTN would go to Square and Disney and any other company that halped to make Kingdom Hearts). I've played Kingdom Hearts (the first one) I JUST started Chain of Memories, and I've JUST started Kingdom Hearts II, so I know the basics about Kingdom Hearts, but not really everything about it. From what she tells me, the DTN is like the DTD (Door to Darkness) or something, and in her fanfic, she's bringing the Organization back, by bringing them out through the DTN. That little flashback Axel had was actually a conversation we had about writing Larxene out of the Organization. (If you can't tell, we don't like her very much.) I'm __**NOT**__ a sexist; I just don't like Larxene. She's just annoying. XD_

_Same with Kairi. I just don't like her either. D: Sorry, guys. D:_

_And about Sora being a murderer; that's another small joke between my friend and me. I like Roxas more, and she prefers Sora. When she asked why Roxas was better, I replied, "Because he doesn't kill people like Sora." Because Sora eliminated pretty much every member of the organization. _


End file.
